At the time I was under the delusion, as many are, that all I was doing was releasing a few little cells from my uterus... something akin to stepping on an ant.
What a mistake.
I knew it was a mistake intuitively - it felt wrong.
But I ignored that intuition and went with the mind's reasoning, and as always happens in that case - was led into sin, aka, a mistake.
Getting the abortion felt so wrong, that I promised myself I would never do it again. I tried not to get pregnant again, but I did. I was tempted to get an abortion again, because I was terrified of being a mom, of being a bad mom specifically. But I remembered my promise and how important and serious it was to me. And I kept it.
My pregnancy was magical. I felt blessed. I ended up creating a business which still sustains me and my child today. and I put a lot of deep thought and consideration and research into parenting and how to raise my child. Thanks to that I say, not with bragging or arrogance but with rightful pride, I'm a pretty good mom. None of this has been easy, in fact it's been the greatest challenge of my life; but it's also the greatest miracle and blessing and transformative factor of my life. And my son is an awesome person. And there's nothing I regret more than aborting that first baby, who would have been his older sibling.
Those few little cells I discarded from my uterus were going to be a human being. A human being! I know it's popular today to be harsh on humans and have a negative attitude about them, and yes they can be mega assholes. But they really are the crown of God's creation. They are incredible creatures. Every single one of them, it doesn't matter who the parents or what the circumstances, has incredible potential ::: to "wake up", aka enlightenment, aka God realizing itself through form. And it is a grave and serious sin/mistake to kill that potential.
I am so sorry to the whole world, to all of existence, for aborting those little cells that would have become another human being on this earth.
The least I can do is write this and share it, and hopefully change someone else's mind from making the same mistake. <3
Life is my religion.
Not life like we think of it.
Life. God. That which beats the heart and turns the heavens and is magically appearing as this very moment of stuff apparently happening.
I also believe "Jesus" is the savior of the world and he will be returning to throw all these pesky evil doers into the cosmic furnace. But that's not my religion. That's just my belief.
Why do I believe that? Reading the Bible with an open and intelligent mind convinced me. And why not? Seems like a worthwhile belief to me. <3
Some that I'm aware of:
and of course the greatest hero and warrior of all time ::: Yashua aka Jesus Christ
I made the box and lid by cutting squares and rectangles out of cardboard, then taped them together.
I added 3 layers of paper mache, using newspaper and waterproof wood glue (thinned with water). It came out very strong.
Then I spray painted the whole thing white, and added some metallic blue and purple to the lid.
The dolphins and waves are cut out of thin cardboard and painted with acrylic paint and hot glued on.
It took longer to make than I anticipated, but turned out very nice. <3
This chair had a fabric covering, but it tore on the seat. So I cut it all off, and ordered some satin cord, and did this - it is so awesome! Great way to save an old chair.
I got the Satin cord on ebay, (used about 120 yards of silver, and about 70-80 yards each of aqua and light blue);
I used a tutorial on Youtube for the weaving.
When I was finished I coated it with a clear acrylic sealer / spray paint to protect it from the elements.
The chair is very sturdy ::: the weaving is tight and strong, and it's so pretty - hopefully it will last a long time. <3
Then that God is the Truth.
and truth is a sharp two edged sword: the greatest danger to your egoic head, and the only way home.
Om Namah Shivaya <3